Written by Taimur Khan ’03
I am mentally and emotionally exhausted, as, I’m sure, most of us are. When I first heard that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers, as expected, my first reaction was shock and dismay. But never at that point would I have realized the effects of that incident on my life.
For those of you who don’t know me especially well, I consider myself a Muslim first, an American second, and a Pakistani third.
A Muslim—what is a Muslim? Translated from Arabic, it means “one who submits to the will of Allah (God)”. No, a Muslim is not one who goes around terrorizing the lives of thousands; nor is he a man who kills himself or others for the sake of Allah or Islam. Those who do are not martyrs. They are cold-hearted killers.
These incidents were a huge step backward for the Islamic community in America and around the world. I remember having a conversation with one of my Muslim friends on the evening of September 11th and saying, “The last thing I want to hear is that this was due to some ‘Islamic Extremists’.” And speak of the devil! For the past few years, the Muslim community had been working so diligently to better the name of Islam in America, and now all those efforts were made useless, due to only a handful of ill-advised terrorists.
On Sunday, September 16th, I attended a lecture and discussion group held at my mosque in Wayland. I could see the fear in the eyes of those present and hear it when they spoke. Even I felt the fear when I looked out the window and saw the police keeping guard around the mosque. One of the mothers during the discussion spoke up and said, “I’m scared. I’m scared for my life and for the lives of my children. Our basic right to practice our religion in safety has been taken away from us. Our right to feel safe in public areas has been stolen from us.”
I was born in Boston, and I’ve lived here ever since. I have attended public school for ten years. And for every day of those ten years of public school, I have stood up, faced the American Stars and Stripes, placed my hand over my heart, and recited the
Pledge of Allegiance. Neither do I take the words for granted, but rather I truly mean my oath to America, a country to which I wholeheartedly feel I belong.
So, as any other American, I was left shocked and in a state of disbelief when I saw the Boeing 757 crash into the second World Trade Center building, again and again and again, each time my soul growing more and more numb. This soon grew into confusion and then anger. Like every other American, I want the terrorists behind these attacks to meet justice for their inhumane acts. The hatred toward those who committed this horrendous crime bums within me just as much as within any other American. And lastly, but still importantly, I’m a Pakistani. I’m sure most of you have heard of the situations in Pakistan
before the attacks happened. You must have heard about our gaining nuclear power. Or maybe you’ve heard of the military coup and interpreted it as something gone wrong. But in fact, it was a constructive move for the entire country. For years, Pakistan has been ruled by criminal and corrupt leaders (Prime Ministers), making matters worse for the country. And now, for the first time, we have been presented with a leader whose priorities are straight, a leader who puts his nation’s needs before his own.
Last December when I went on my annual trip to Pakistan (chances, obviously, of my going this year are very bleak), I could see noticeable improvements. The visible pollution had decreased. The roads, for a change, were well kept and clean and were no longer lined with the homeless and destitute. And for the first time I felt as though there was some hope for Pakistan. I thought of all the Pakistani emigrants who continuously said,“Pakistan has no chance of getting back up on its feet.” Now she had begun to stand, but it seems inevitable that she will be pushed back down.
I found it interesting that here I am, living in America, in Boston, not far from New York City, and my family back in Pakistan will feel the effects of this even more than I. Already my cousin has told me that all the teachers from her school, Lahore American School, are being sent back to America. All this is happening to her during her senior year, and I sympathize with her. And I wonder what will become of my family in Pakistan through any of the coming events.
Pakistan has been faced with a lose-lose situation. If they choose not to help America, Pakistan will not only receive a dire reputation for not aiding in the fight against terrorism, but they will also lose a very valuable ally, America, whose relations with Pakistan are crucial.
On the other hand, if Pakistan does side with America, the terrorists, along with all their allies, will then turn their targets eastward onto Pakistan.
The question that I have the most difficult time with is this: “What would you do?” And I would honestly answer, “I don’t know”. And I say that for many reasons. First and foremost, I don’t even know at this point how America plans on dealing with the situation. So far, threats have been made to the countries in which these terrorists live. So therefore, it can be assumed that many innocent lives will be lost in the process of serving attempted justice. As a Muslim, I would strongly oppose any action of
that sort. Then as any American, I would say, “Well, that’s what they deserve.” And then as a Pakistani, I think of all the afterafter effects. How would this scar Pakistan? Will there be a war with Pakistan and neighboring countries?
Every morning I get up and wonder if anything else happened, if any more innocent lives were destroyed, either by the terrorists or by America; if my family is alive and well in Pakistan; if my Muslim friends in America are unharmed. Insecurity is pumping through everybody’s blood. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, and maybe we never will again. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t take “today” for granted anymore.
It really is sad. It’s sad that I even have to write this account. It’s sad that I have to defend Islam and Muslims because of the acts of criminals.
I was going to end simply with a customary “God Bless America”, though I think it may now be more fitting to say “God—Allah—Bless the entire world”.
