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Welcome to the inaugural issue of Volume 68 of The Panel! With Volume 67’s edi...read more

Debate of the Issue: Cake

In what will be our last newspaper debate, Gabe has made the fatal decision to argue in favor of Team Pie in a classic debate of cake versus pie. These have been very enjoyable for the two of us to write over the past year, and I thank everyone for reading. Now let’s get into the debate.

Much like our first debate of breakfast and dinner, this is truly a matter of quality versus quantity. There are plenty of different pies that one can eat, and I will concede that apple piesand pumpkin pies in particular are moderately delectable. Yet for every apple pie and pumpkin pie, you also have to take into account the the ones at the bottom of the barrel, like the sour tasting lemon meringue pie or pecan pie, which basically looks like a pie made of bugs. So sure Gabe, your top two or three precious pies may be good, but there is a sizable drop off in quality once you start examining the spinach pies of the world. I bet Gabe didn’t mention that part in his article.

As for cake, the typical image that pops into mind is a icing topped chocolate or vanilla birthday cake (see previous debate for chocolate versus vanilla), and while these are certainly high quality dessert options which have rightfully earned an annual spot at the birthday dinner table, Team Cake has more to offer. Much like the addition of the designated hitter in baseball, the invention of ice cream cakes added an entirely new offensive juggernaut to this debate, since the dessert combines icing and ice cream into one refined masterpiece of a cuisine. In addition, the addition of cheesecakes to this stellar lineup creates an unstoppable food trio that is not to be messed with. Much like ice cream cakes that can have many different flavors of ice creams, the cheesecake has a plethora of options to choose from depending on the restaurant, including chocolate, mocha cappuccino, oreo, and strawberry swirl.

So on the surface, it may seem like Team Cake has a limited number of options, when in reality, the three main branches have all kinds of different flavors that warrant your vote in this debate. In conclusion, I would like to once again thank everyone for reading these debates, and more importantly, I plead that you make the correct decision and vote for Team Cake.

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