While bathrooms are certainly not why a student would choose one school over another, it is impossible to deny that bathrooms are a critical facility of any academic institution. From preschool through graduate school and generally in one’s everyday life, the look, cleanliness, and overall vibes of where we do our business are essential to our satisfaction. Everybody at Belmont Hill has a favorite bathroom—they may just not know it yet.
**Note: For this article, the two student bathrooms in Melvoin, Morse, the science building, and the locker rooms are grouped together. The remaining 11 student bathrooms are ranked individually.
Eliot: 3/10
This bathroom is wimpy, cramped, and dirty. 21.6% of students say this bathroom is their least favorite on campus. One student stated that “[he] was in 8th grade as a 4’11 boy, [and] could see over the stall in Eliot.” Another commented, “If I’m having a nice class with Mr. George and I have to go to the bathroom, I have to go down two flights of stairs then down a hallway to one of the worst bathrooms on campus. The floor is stained for eternity, the layout reminds me of the backrooms, and it smells bad.” Overall, this is not a great bathroom—we recommend avoiding it unless absolutely necessary.
Art Back (near woodshop): 3/10
This bathroom isn’t rated a 1 or 2 because most people probably don’t even know about it. This bathroom gets an extra point for being very nonchalant—I like that. What I don’t like, though, is that the door is broken and that this bathroom is generally old, dirty, and compact. It is certainly possible that this bathroom has not been updated since 1923. “The overall ambiance reminds me of a morgue,” said a passionate student. It is dark and scary in there. I would only recommend using this bathroom once to know where it is. Beyond that, please don’t venture into this dark corner of the art building.
Dining Hall: 3/10
Crowded and small, the Dining Hall bathroom is one of the most overly-used bathrooms on this campus. There is, unfortunately, no more space to expand this bathroom. It is what it is. Every time I use this bathroom, I often have to hold my breath to avoid the stench, and I recommend you do the same. Stay away from this bathroom as often as possible.
Art Front (near ceramics): 4/10
Overall, this bathroom is solid. It’s big, with two stalls and urinals. However, the urinals are so tightly packed together that using them both at once is physically impossible. One senior described that “the urinal situation in Art Front is a criminal offense.” I could not agree more. Something must be done. We, the students, call for the administration to create more space between these urinals.
Morse: 5/10
Morse is just okay. The disparities in the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms are significant: 43 “bottom 3” votes were given to the upstairs one and 26 to the downstairs. The downstairs bathroom is quite large, with three sinks and urinals. The upstairs bathroom, on the other hand, is small and crowded. Fortunately, both bathrooms are clean. No floor on a school campus should be serviced by only one urinal and one stall. If the upstairs bathroom were less squeezed, Morse would likely be one of my favorite bathrooms on campus.
Science: 5/10
Upstairs and downstairs are practically the same. The only difference is that the downstairs bathroom has two stalls, while upstairs is a stall and a urinal. Like Morse, these bathrooms have no advantages or drawbacks. They are both just fine. Across the board, these bathrooms were the most mediocre of them all, with few top three or bottom three votes—a perfect five.
Jordan Lower: 5/10
Nothing special. This bathroom has incredible urinal capacity, two stalls, and an automatic dryer. Because so many people use this bathroom, one should expect it not to be the nicest on campus.
Locker Rooms: 5/10
This rating may surprise you, but they are a five because they shouldn’t be clean. “In the red locker room, there is always feces in the toilets that either clog them or make it disgusting,” said one junior. Yes, they are loud, usually dirty, and crowded, but that is to be expected; anybody who wishes these bathrooms to be squeaky clean should stop talking. They are locker rooms—deal with it.
Melvoin: 7/10
An excellent go-to bathroom, Melvoin gets the job done. These restrooms are clean, and despite the many students with classes in Melvoin, they are rarely crowded. Thirty-five students put any Melvoin bathroom as their first choice on campus, and 18 put one as their bottom choice. Above all else, these bathrooms contain arguably the best sinks on campus: good water pressure and automatic faucets top off the most dependable bathroom on campus.
Prenatt: 7/10
“[Prenatt is] a nice quiet bathroom, not usually occupied.” While I am not a musician and spend little time in Prenatt, when I did my review of the bathroom on October 12, I was pleasantly surprised. The bathroom is spacious, with two urinals and stalls, perfect to accommodate multiple performing artists at a time and accommodate their needs. The sinks are automatic and very lovely, and I would try and use this bathroom as often as possible if I spent more time in this very modern and comfortable building.
Wadsworth: 8/10
Now, this is a bathroom I can get behind. While not always the cleanest, this restroom provides maximum privacy and has great soap. There isn’t much to say about this bathroom other than that it is awesome. Fifty-seven students put this bathroom as either their second or third choice, often after Macpherson and Chapel Basement. The students agree: this is a perfect and convenient second or third-choice bathroom.
Macpherson: 9/10
“Close to the lunch room, just in case Tony Maws’ black beans are not sitting well, and in close proximity to the library. This bathroom has it all: convenience, cleanliness, privacy. I love this bathroom.” I don’t know what sums up this luxurious bathroom better than these quotes. I would recommend this bathroom to everybody who has not ventured below the dining hall or is looking for an alternative to the dining hall bathroom.
Chapel Basement: 9/10
Wow. If striping a drive down the first fairway was a restroom, it would be the Chapel basement. I refuse to call this gorgeous chamber a bathroom—it is a restroom. I skip across campus and squeal giddily when I am about to use it. It is the epitome of luxury; “Chapel basement should be the standard for all restrooms on campus. It is a throne fit for a king,” explained a student. This restroom has it all: it is clean and has slick interiors and minimalistic colors; the sinks work amazingly, and the soap is always fabulous. When I returned to school after summer break, I was more excited to become reacquainted with the Chapel basement restroom than to see my friends. The only issue with this restroom, and why I deducted a point, is that the door to the basement is often locked, and the Chapel is out of the way of most students’ daily lives on campus.
I would like to thank the Belmont Hill maintenance staff for their unrelenting work on keeping our school clean. It is thanks to them that we can enjoy such spiritually ascending places as the Macpherson and Chapel basement restrooms.
