A sandwich: meat between bread. A hot dog: meat between bread. I hope I’m not going too far out on a limb here, but these seem like the same thing. Some may challenge me and say, “Hold up, Josh, sandwiches have two slices of bread, whereas a hot dog has only one.” In response to this, I’m going examine the technical aspects of eating a sandwich. When one eats a ham and cheese, they grasp both slices of bread, top and bottom. The fingers make contact at two distinct points. On a hot dog, it’s the same thing, only rotated, as one grasps the sides of the bun for optimal support. I believe that drawing a distinction between the two based solely on the physical separation of bread is a bit persnickety. Let’s get even more basic: your typical sandwich has four sides open, while hot dogs have three. I would go as far as to say that the hotdog is an improved sandwich. By shoring up the bottom, we render gravity unable to do its dirty work of stealing our yummy sandwich contents. Now that I have laid out my argument, I believe that the loose constructionists among you will side with the dog having the inalienable right to declare itself a sandwich.